5 years of change.

Goodluck if you thought this blog was how puberty hit me. It isn’t about puberty. The eyes have seen much more. The heart has felt much more. Life is livable now.

It’s been 5 years. It’s been 5 years since I’ve undergone many changes in my life. Mentally, physically, socially, I’ve changed as an individual. I’ve been broken, but I’ve been mending myself as well, better than before. I’ve realised how I needed to change and how I needed to cherish my life, despite having to fight all the odds. I hope life will get better, but I don’t want to ignore the small ray of hope of life getting better. 

5 years ago, I didn’t have friends. I had people around me, who didn’t care as much. People I rarely spoke to, people who never respected my thought processes, people who liked living in a box. How does it feel being surrounded by so many people who oppose you, and you cannot escape? Basically this was my school life in a sentence. I always felt out of place. But eventually life has been considerate with the people I have been interacting with. I’ve got the best group of friends right now, people who understand me and have a similar thought process. Everything makes sense and fits perfectly. Just hang on, better things will come to you. It took me 5 years to leave behind people who were close to me, but were just superficial friends. Trust me and hang on.

The last 5 years have been an emotional ride. I’ve lost many people, been used by people, and been bullied a lot as well. Let’s not forget to sadness which later on, turned into depression. Well it’s been 5 years and I’ve decided to focus on the positives more than the negatives. I have just become emotionally really stronger which will hopefully help me in long run. Every one who left, thank you. I can’t thank you enough.

I had ‘best’ friends. Kinda. Yes I did, but I never knew it wasn’t the best for either of us. It was always one sided, where people eventually left me. It was very superficial and very fake, everything we spoke about was just very lame. Friendship based on needs and ignorance don’t last long. 5 years, no best friend. But then something happened, I texted a guy for help, only if we knew it would turn into something really special. Yes, he is my first best friend, someone I can actually trust on. Just the fact we’ve got each others back, helps alot at times. Well maybe, this is what acceptance​ feels like. This is what meeting the right person after 5 years seems like. 

Don’t do bad to you. If I ever had to give my past self an advice, it would be, don’t do bad to you. Don’t let people inflict any kind of pain on you. Don’t be with people who tell your dreams are out of way and you cannot achieve them. Don’t be with people who don’t find you worth. Don’t let anyone affect you in a negative way.  Don’t let people question your self esteem. Just drift away, slowly, and cherish the one thing you’ll always have, yourself.

These five years have changed me. Happiness is my first priority and I mean it. I just feel free now. Cheers to change. Let’s change and become good human beings, that’s all that matters, at the end of the day.

I’d like to hear from you,

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