Yesterday, I saw a very awkward dream (and somehow I remember it).
I’ll brief you about some stuff before hand so you understand the dream better (I hope).
My grandmother (Nani) lives with us. My grandfather (Nana ji) passed away 6 years ago. They have an apartment in Mumbai, which my Nani has chosen to abandon. In India, going to meet your grandparents is very frequent (and normal). I was really close to Nanaji. He taught me maths. After him going away, i really started disliking math.
The dream starts, with my best friend and I going to Mumbai, to see the house. I take him along and we sit in neighborhood talking to the neighbours about their wellness. The neighbours told us what part did Nanaji play in their life. He was also the eldest member, enabling him to become the secretary of the locality.
After them sharing their stories, we asked the neighbours for the key to the apartment. They gave us the key and told us to proceed and return the key, once we were done seeing the house. I had the keys, and thought twice before the opening the door. I hesitated and told my best friend the following three things, out of which one was, how much importance this house holds for me. We sat down on the stairs. I told him, I’ve spent so many summer vacations and Christmas vacations in this house. This house has seen me crawling. This house is a connection between me and my grandparents. The trips to the local bazaar with Nanaji and buying Street lassi (buttermilk) and trying to carry two 2 litres bottle up to the first floor seeming impossible. The smell of the house and the furniture. Me throwing kitchen cutlery outside the window and nobody telling me anything. It just made me not open the door. Somewhere, some part of me knew it wasn’t possible anymore.
How much importance this house holds for my Nani. My Nanaji and Nani turned this apartment into a house. They brought life into it. They had memories. They spent 50 years of their marriage in that house. Letting go would surely might’ve been difficult. They celebrated life living in that apartment and for some reason they’ll always be my relationship goals. They arranged prayer ceremonies. Made a point that they don’t compromise on living life. I didn’t want to open it, because somewhere I knew it won’t be the same lively apartment. It might’ve been accumulated a lot of dust, spider webs, dirt, etc. It had lost it’s charm when Nanaji left us. It demanded to be left behind.
The spirit of my Nanaji. This might seem a bit awkward, but the spirit of my Nanaji. I saw true love whenever I saw them together. I saw them growing old together. I could hear Nanaji tell me not to open the door. He wanted to wait for Nani to join him, and get back together for eternity, in heaven. He just wanted to be with her. The apartment was his life, but it seem incomplete, without his partner. He told me, not to come back and let these two souls, be one, forever. Everything has a time, now is not.
I returned the key to the neighbour. My best friend and I went back home, without any regret.
Some things deserve to be untouched, left behind. Maybe that was what Nani was doing by abandoning the house. The memories, the togetherness made no sense without anyone of them. The old lady, had seen more world than I did.
This was my dream.
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